When the Not So Prodigal Brother leaves Home

Minsan naiintindihan ko na kung bakit nag-iiyakan ang magpapamilya sa NAIA, tuwing may isang mahal sa buhay ang aalis. Dati kasi, naco-cornyhan ako sa mga iyakan ng iyakan sa airport na parang ihahatid sa huling hantungan ang kanilang mahal sa buhay. Nasa daigdig pa naman siya ng buhay, kung umiyak akala mo, ililibing na.

Not until, I have experienced it myself. Umalis ang aking nakababatang kapatid na si Tata, papuntang US, nitong Lunes. Actually it was mixed emotions. I am happy because, I must consider myself very instrumental in arranging, even to the point of arguing his petition to the US Embassy in Manila. So, at least, I want to vindicate the tedious, long winding process of his immigration and all the ramified paperwoks by his actual leaving for the US. Yes, he was petitioned by my father who is an American Citizen (pero Pinoy na Pinoy dahil hindi naman siya magaling sa Ingles).

Nuong inaayos ko pa lang ang papeles ni Tata, I never felt sadness, in fact, I was so eager. Since I have slim chances of migrating to the US with my family, I only wanted that they may go and wbe able to work there (its a long story). Going back, at least, if my brother can leave, he can find something there, and like so many Filipinos in the US fulfill his own "American Dream" of a Filipino. Minsan nakakatawa, dahil bakit kailangang umalis ng mga Pilipino sa bansang ito, we have the talents and brains, but we end up as menial workers to races less superior than we.


My brother is a Criminology Graduate from DLSU, and a certified Automotive Mechanic, specializing in luxury cars, sedans and sports vehicles. Ang layo ng connection no? Magulo din kasi ang utak ng kapatid ko na yun. Siguro with what he has in his hands, will land him in any job he knows he can do well. I want him to be employed elsewhere kasi, medyo spoiled brat sioya rito. Other than, his weekend teaching stints in VocTech school and accepting job orders for vehicle repairs, he does not have any permanent job. But I ask myself, why do we have to part ways, can't he find a work here? Perhaps, he can. But with the salary fit for a pauper.

Not that I don't want my brother to go, he must go, for all the intents and purposes of leaving. But, what a vacuum parting creates in the hearts of those who have to be separated because of migration---simply because this country can no longer provide for its citizens. Naging "thrust" na ba ng bansang ito na gawing "export merchandise" ang mga kababayan natin?

The fondest memories I had with my brother are countless. I remember we went to Baguio, to Tagaytay and to so many places. Most of the time, with my friends and our family. Dati kasi, I usually ask him to drive me around because I don't know how to drive then. So he solved my problem by teaching me how to drive. He taught me to manage my own wheels. We would be together in toughest problems, especially whenever there are sickness in the family. He was there when I was down and brokenhearted, when I was rejected. During the times, that I feel I have to quit law school, he told me, "eto ang calling sa'yo..." He is not so perfect for he "certainly" shares the flaws of Adam, but he is a thoughtful and sincere person.

Dahil hindi naman kami expressive sa aming pamilya, lalo na mga lalaki kami, we usually crack jokes for things that are serious. We also had the shares of fight, but nothing physical. Ayoko din namang umabot sa ganoon. There were so many good things we shared, chatting while he or I drive. We would sneak out and dine out together whenever we were asked to withdraw money from my father's bank. We were there in very important events of our lives.

Masakit pala mawalay sa isang tao na kasama mo araw-araw, at halos sa bawat araw na yun, nakikita mo siya...ngayon hindi na ganoon ang sistema. Malungkot na hindi mo magagawa na ang mga bagay na ginagawa mo dati.

The memories are countless, and now that he is no longer here with us, it makes me sad. Sa isip ko, hindi na siya bahagi ng aming "household" meaning, even if he comes back, he won't go back as the "usual and normal" Tata we could drag out from his bed to do some chores, he won't be here all the time to listen to stories and to joke around. It would be different when he comes back. Siyempre ang susunod na dito, we will have to have our own families, our times as one family will necessarily have to be extended with our own respective lives.

Minsan iniisip ko sana ginawa ito ng Tatay ko nuong maliliit pa kami, para sana hindi kami nagkahiwa-hiwalay ng ganito. But what can we do? We can't choose our own paths.

He called last night, he was excited, and in my heart, I always pray, that He will always be alright. I know he will...