Reminiscing the Yesteryears

I’m afraid to face the mornings
With sunset behind:

The walks you once tread,
The memories you once had.

If only kisses were just touch on the lips,
If only the nights of you being together
Were just nearness;

I know I had none of the days of yesteryears,

I’m afraid of the songs, you might have sung,
I’m afraid of the rhymes of poems you might have recited;

I fear the past that lingers to your being,
Of wanting much of them---
Or being delighted to something that was lost—
Of bringing them back.

I know I had none of the days of yesteryears.

Am I accusing you of a crime you did not commit?
Am I too selfish to ask you of total oblivion?
Am I too narrow-minded, to disallow you
In your freedom to remember?

I know I had none of the days of yersteryears

Oh, those days, source of such great pain

Stabbing my heart, pierces my being and wounding my soul—

I’m afraid of the days that you will remember them
With hidden desire and smiles;

I’m afraid of the places you’ve been together
And those will bring back reminiscences;

And you’ll realize he’s better—
And you realize you want him still—
And realize it was not me, all along—

I know I had none of the days of yersteryears.